Saturday, January 29, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Fashion Skeletons Excuse for Lady Bashing
A recent study reports women in the UK have 22 outfits hidden away that they never wear. This is nothing but an opportunity to point out how stupid and wasteful women are, with an invitation to collective hand-wringing and tongue clucking. Bully tactics follow from the likes of Liz Jones, a woman who will harangue you about your own spending habits while she throws away far more cash on designer gear in her ‘do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do’ Daily Mail privileged worldview. Fashion is a primary double bind for women. While women are expected to conform to the beauty mandate and an ideal version of femininity, regular scorn and judgment accompanies their capitulation in the never ending hot-or-not sliding scale. If you eschew fashion, you are a de-sexed frump made invisible, but if you have ever slid foot into heels and applied slap, expect open season, to hear how you’re doing it all wrong, just like with the wifery, parenting and career.
In a Janus-faced turn, culture tells you what to emulate and then derides your best as less than perfect. One can’t help but wonder where all the fluff pieces are on the cavalier purchases made by men that hold little outward utility or justification. Take a gander at any Sky Mall edition during a flight in order to appraise plenty of useless crap men buy from Hammacher and Schlemmer and such. Double binds harbour double standards, as in the consumerist version which places value on male expenditures as necessary ‘gear’ and dismisses female purchases as ‘impractical’ waste.
Inevitably, women who take an interest in fashion will pull a faux pas off the rack on occasion, because style is an unerring trial and error, tempered by the whims of the season along with the woman’s mind and body at the moment. Fashion rests on caprice, even if you hold steadfast Ms. Coco’s declaration that ‘fashion fades; only style remains’ or a similar aphorism. (It makes little sense to claim that style trumps fashion since the two are intertwined and dependent. You may have a style bent on pantaloons, waistcoats, turtlenecks and braces, but such a mess would only rate as fashionable for a quick minute). Most folks have ugly items in their closet, their fashion skeletons if you will. Indeed, if the study attributes the bulk of the unworn items to impulse purchases culled during sales, it is little wonder when shoppers are browbeaten to treat a sale as moral absolution and permission, the only time spending isn’t laden with the charge of reckless consumption. The fashion industry markets a sales event like a guilt free benediction to salve the pennywise conscience. No wonder women rush to them and take home garments that will never again see the light of day.
There’s no way I have 22 unworn outfits in my closet. I’m too fond of giving away clothes to friends or charity agencies. Yet you can be sure I have some unworn duds tucked away. Instead of chastising women for what they don’t wear, the point for fun’s sake resides in a little sharing, in an equalising move to say okay: we all have made regrettable purchases. If it doesn’t fit, scalds the eyeball with aesthetic offence, is age-inappropriate in a borderline hello-kitty and pigtails on a grown woman way, ultimately, who cares? Let’s have a laugh at ourselves instead of another finger wag or guilt trip.
Here are four things in my closet surely to never again see the light of day.
The Ralph Lauren plaid trousers are a never-worn gift. Even with Versace showing plenty of plaid in the 2011 S/S collection, I doubt I could ever wear these with a straight face. Oh, and they have a crease down the centre which makes me feel faint.
I forget the name of the little dress shop in Dublin where I picked this up. Hippie nightmare. Buttons! Pleats! Tablecloth-pseudo-tribal pattern! Again, I'd need smelling salts to walk out with it once more.
Most of you will not agree with my hatred for this pair that I bought 6 years ago and have never worn. The fact remains that I might as well present my ugly hooves barefoot in public than wear this wimpy/ strappy/ sling-back mess.
In a Janus-faced turn, culture tells you what to emulate and then derides your best as less than perfect. One can’t help but wonder where all the fluff pieces are on the cavalier purchases made by men that hold little outward utility or justification. Take a gander at any Sky Mall edition during a flight in order to appraise plenty of useless crap men buy from Hammacher and Schlemmer and such. Double binds harbour double standards, as in the consumerist version which places value on male expenditures as necessary ‘gear’ and dismisses female purchases as ‘impractical’ waste.
Inevitably, women who take an interest in fashion will pull a faux pas off the rack on occasion, because style is an unerring trial and error, tempered by the whims of the season along with the woman’s mind and body at the moment. Fashion rests on caprice, even if you hold steadfast Ms. Coco’s declaration that ‘fashion fades; only style remains’ or a similar aphorism. (It makes little sense to claim that style trumps fashion since the two are intertwined and dependent. You may have a style bent on pantaloons, waistcoats, turtlenecks and braces, but such a mess would only rate as fashionable for a quick minute). Most folks have ugly items in their closet, their fashion skeletons if you will. Indeed, if the study attributes the bulk of the unworn items to impulse purchases culled during sales, it is little wonder when shoppers are browbeaten to treat a sale as moral absolution and permission, the only time spending isn’t laden with the charge of reckless consumption. The fashion industry markets a sales event like a guilt free benediction to salve the pennywise conscience. No wonder women rush to them and take home garments that will never again see the light of day.
There’s no way I have 22 unworn outfits in my closet. I’m too fond of giving away clothes to friends or charity agencies. Yet you can be sure I have some unworn duds tucked away. Instead of chastising women for what they don’t wear, the point for fun’s sake resides in a little sharing, in an equalising move to say okay: we all have made regrettable purchases. If it doesn’t fit, scalds the eyeball with aesthetic offence, is age-inappropriate in a borderline hello-kitty and pigtails on a grown woman way, ultimately, who cares? Let’s have a laugh at ourselves instead of another finger wag or guilt trip.
Here are four things in my closet surely to never again see the light of day.
This was a rush purchase in Barcelona at COS. It seemed like a candidate for the Irish Blog Awards gala, but sadly, as I recognised as soon as I unpacked, this dress is more lounge-singer than Betty Draper. This could be a Halloween costume though? A Vegas zombie perhaps?
The Ralph Lauren plaid trousers are a never-worn gift. Even with Versace showing plenty of plaid in the 2011 S/S collection, I doubt I could ever wear these with a straight face. Oh, and they have a crease down the centre which makes me feel faint. 
I forget the name of the little dress shop in Dublin where I picked this up. Hippie nightmare. Buttons! Pleats! Tablecloth-pseudo-tribal pattern! Again, I'd need smelling salts to walk out with it once more.
Most of you will not agree with my hatred for this pair that I bought 6 years ago and have never worn. The fact remains that I might as well present my ugly hooves barefoot in public than wear this wimpy/ strappy/ sling-back mess.
Hate.
My tastes have and will continue to change.
Maybe one day I'll wake with a love of plaid, creases, pleats, sequins and open shoes.
It could happen.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Jersey Shore Cast or Academy Award Winner?
Big shades. Ed Hardy t-shirt. Droopy jeans. White crocs.
No, it's not Ronnie's older brother dropping by to explain why dudes should refrain from screaming at or otherwise terrorising women less than half their bodyweight.
Do a double take and notice Javier Bardem on pooch duty.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Even the Dudes We Like Drop Sexist Jokes
Just in case the women nominated at the Golden Globes were under the impression that they were present as an equal among peers, Robert Downey Jr. steps up to deliver a ham-fisted joke about how he’d be willing to bone them all. Or something. First his approach fails because he insinuates that they need to sleep with him in order to nail the part, but then it switches to an imagined porn scene where he offers to bang Julianne Moore, Angelina Jolie, Anne Hathaway, Annette Bening and Emma Stone all at once onstage.
Nevermind talent, ladies. All that matters is how fuckable you are. Oh, and perhaps an ability to smile through a crude joke at your own expense helps. Don't get all uppity and think too much of yourselves.
His mighty penis thus ruleth.
Seriously, if this if what passes for humour from the so-called cool guys, then what the heck are the other guys saying?
Monday, January 17, 2011
Rape Alley
Out with the pooches, I caught sight of 'helpful' graffiti cautioning women about a Rape Alley located on the Westside of Toronto. It's not even an alley since it extends at least twenty feet wide with a city parkette on one side.
What kind of warning is this exactly?
Am I to believe the tagger has only women's safety in mind, that the person with the spray paint remains unaware that women make a dozen decisions each day in order to avoid this threat?
I'd like to see a sign that says Rapists Beware for a change.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Ignore My Failure to Post with Some Rage Against Advertising
What, is Amnesty International PETA all of a sudden?
Why do folks assume they can assemble a public service campaign about a human rights violation by violating a woman's human rights?
Folks at baggage claim should be more horrified by the fate of the woman bound in the case suspended in circles than in the Amnesty's invitation to moral outrage.
She's a woman, not a billboard.
Assholes.
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